The difference a week makes....

Just re-read that last post and can't believe how totally different I feel this week; this rollercoaster ride that we are on is quite extreme. So, sorry to have subjected you all to that one, but I did promise to be honest.....

For a start, this week, I don't need the dreaded WBC booster injection - and as a result, have virtually no side effects. OK, I've got a spot on my tongue, but my mother would say that's from telling lies, and who am I to disagree? I wish I knew what I'd been lying about though.......

Papa Smurf also decides I only need one of the drugs from now on, because I've had enough of the other one (had enough of as in "don't need any more of", rather than as in "stuff that" - although that too). This also hugely reduces the crap factor of each week, so the final two weeks is looking very promising.

The final two weeks! I can't tell you how amazing that sounds. In ten days time, I will have had my last treatment and life can return to normal - starting with our trip to Bali at the end of September.

Actually, I suspect that this is when the scary part (rather than the horrid part) starts; learning not to live in dread that it's going to come back, dealing with the scans and waiting for results, being rational about not thinking that every headache is a brain tumour etc etc. We are both reasonably good at putting all of that into a little box marked "Do Not Open" but it does tend to seep out a bit in the middle of the night if you don't pay attention.

I have decided that so much has been done to my body which I have not chosen, that I want to do something to it myself. Perhaps a way of taking control back, but I want to get a tattoo done - perhaps more of a talisman, who knows. I know I could do this by getting super-toned or something, but let's face it, a tattoo would be so much less effort. And all those silly arguments like "what will it look like when you are older" seem rather moot - let's face it, no-one's bodies look fab when they are old and mine certainly won't........

So - something Asian, I think, and something to symbolise fight and hope and strength......... Thoughts on a postcard, please. Location also tbd.

I am also focussing very hard on growing hair now. Still not altogether successfully - the bread is now really really mouldy but still no real covering ability. But I plan to have hair for Xmas ("All I want for Xmas is NOT me two front teeth.......") so watch this space.

As zen-like and serene as ever, J xx