A few more days of hospital routine, and Drain 1 and I are released back home. I have a brief discussion with the discharge nurse, who is trying to send me home with paracetamol only. I don't think so. She gets Prof T off the golf course and he agrees that horse sized painkillers are in order, and off we go. He arranges an appointment for the following day - I consider worrying about whether he's had the results or not but just don't have the energy.
Again, its bliss to be home. I go straight upstairs and collapse into bed - this is a whole load worse than last time and I hurt everywhere still - but its mainly around the area of Drain 1....
The next day we get the drain out and it's heavenly - 90% of the pain disappears at the same time. Lovely PT says that we won't get the results for a few more days, so we stop worrying about that. We also go and see a cardiologist......
One of the joys of chemo is that it can really mess with your heart function - so they have to monitor this closely throughout. Great news! I have a strong and healthy heart - and plan on keeping it that way!
J drops me at home and goes to pick up the kids. He calls me to say he's had a missed call from Efficient Nurse - it may be the results - but her line is busy. I pick up the phone to call her and find I can't bring myself to press the buttons - what if the results are bad? I start worrying about making it for J's 50th, I's wedding, J minor's children..... I pick up the phone and put it down about 5 times and finally call - and get the answer phone. This comes as a huge relief, as it means that I haven't procrastinated, but I still haven't had to hear the results.
J arrives home thank god - so he'll be here when the phone rings. And then it does - and it's totally wonderful Prof T, with a huge smile in his voice, to say the results are completely clear. He says that we clearly just caught it as the first cells were going into the lymph and that we have been very very lucky.
J is listening through the doorway and his grin is watery. We have a massive hug and the relief is enormous.
I also have a blinding flash of understanding. You know those really irritating emails we all get, at least once a week, saying "this cartoon lady is running the world for The Thing awareness - please pass her on". I have never "got" them - I just didn't see the point. They aren't funny, they don't raise money, they don't "do" anything - they are just more of those silly chain emails that steal your email address and pass it on to people in Nigeria who want to share their millions with you......
.....but I suddenly realized that I am so, so aware of The Thing. I knew as soon as I felt a lump that this was Not Good and that I must not dilly dally. As a result, we have have caught it early, which has to be good news. So people, that running lady has done me a really good service - and all of you - check your boobs. Now. Properly. And every month.
As zen-like and serene as ever, J xxs
No comments:
Post a Comment