So, the operation is booked, the knives are sharpened, I have been out and bought mindless books, magazines and "old person" spotty PJs. These were a tricky buy - my nightwear is restricted generally to something light from Jo Malone (Lime, Basil and Mandarin has been a favorite for a while) so where and what do you buy? The answer to "where" is of course M&S but I have no idea at this point what I'll be able to do with my arm post surgery - will I be able to post it into PJs? Will I be able to lift it over my had for a nightie? And there the temperature issue.
Those of you have never lived in Singapore may think I'm crazy - Singapore is 35 degrees all year round, right? Well yes - and no. You are entirely at the mercy of the air conditioning Nazi wherever you are. And every building has one. So you may actually need an argyll sweater at one minute and a little strappy vest the next. So I decide to buy a sensible pair of brushed cotton PJs and a silk nightshirt.......
And J and I decide that we have to tell everyone now - happily we still have the battle plan we had for letting everyone know we were moving to Singapore, and it's much the same. Although a little less exciting. But another life changing experience, just not really the one we had imagined. So we embark on a series of emails that will change everything.
Here I have to apologize for the round robin emails - but actually saying the words "I have The Thing" was not even happening in my head and I could not in a million years have ACTUALLY said to to any of you. So I copped out, in a major way. And I'm sorry (but would still do it the same way again...)
One of the things we specified early on is No Sympathy and that carries on. Humor is the coping mechanism we have always had in the dark times - J can always make me laugh however bad things are - and my friends are the same. You are allowed to say "it's crap" because it is - and also "your boobs were too small anyway" because I love you - but NOT "thinking of you as you go through this journey..." because that stuff goes on the kind of card in the nastier type of hallmark shop; also because it makes me cry.
While I'm there - and I paraphrase a lot here from Lisa Lynch (who I think I may have a bit of a crush on)....here are a few more banned phrases....
1). You've got quite a journey ahead. No. A journey implies a lovely trip, perhaps with a beach and a cocktail at the other end, loads of laughs and new stamps in your passport when you get home. The Thing is a disease, which I am really lucky they can treat, but it's horrible and painful and is ruining my life and how I planned it to turn out.
2) Stay Strong. Oh, there's an idea I hadn't thought of. D'you know, I was thinking about whether to stay strong or just chuck the towel in - I just couldn't decide which side I was going to come down on....but that tips it....
3) You'll get through this. Will I? I wish the doctors knew that.
OK! Now you are panicking about what the hell you CAN actually say. Forget the manual - forget the fact that you feel a bit awkward and just say anything (apart from Stay Strong etc etc) in the same way that you would if you saw me in Sainsburys. Actually all we need to know is that you care - and so many of you (old and new friends) have shown that in the most amazing way we are bowled over. Just don't think you've done it, now, OK - we are going to need you all more than ever over the next few months and we miss you. a lot.
As zen-like and serene as ever, J xx
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